


bellyache

by thelivingflop



Series: haikyuu song inspired oneshots [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gore, Kinves, M/M, Mental Hospital, New writing style, Song: Bellyache (Billie Eilish), gun - Freeform, yams is a pyscho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27727259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelivingflop/pseuds/thelivingflop
Summary: inspired by bellyache by billie eilish
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: haikyuu song inspired oneshots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018299
Kudos: 10





	bellyache

**Author's Note:**

> tw: graphic descriptions of dead bodies, death, violence, abuse, mental disorders, mental hospital, weapons, suicidal thoughts, abuse

Yamaguchi giggled softly to himself as he took the wrapper off the pastel pink bubblegum. He looked at the piece of bubblegum before he popped it in his mouth happily. He chewed on it for a few moments before he pursed his lips and blew a big bubble. As it popped, Yamaguchi couldn't help but notice it sounded like the small gun that lay beside him.

He was sat alone in the driveway of an abandoned house, stones digging into his legs but Yamaguchi didn't mind the pain. A little bit of pain was good now and again, Yamaguchi thought. Pain reminded him that even though his sanity had gone long ago, he was still a human.

Yamaguchi blew another bubble, admiring the pretty pink colour, before standing up. He brushed the dust off his cornflower blue flares and looked at Tsukki's white sweater that was tucked into his flares. Yamaguchi frowned when he spotted a spot of red. He licked his finger and rubbed against the mark but it didn't go away. Yamaguchi sighed before deciding he would sort it out later.

Yamaguchi picked up the small gun and slipped it into the waistband of his jeans next to his knife. Yamaguchi loved his knife, he thought it was very pretty. It had a shiny black handle with a crow engraved on it, his daddy had given it to him. Yamaguchi skipped happily over to his car and opened the boot. He grinned at the sight, he knew his friends weren't far. Yamaguchi had almost forgotten that they were laying here in the back of the stolen car.

Pretty Hinata with bright ginger hair lay with a slit across his pale throat. Beautiful Yachi with pretty pink lipstick lay with a single hole in her head. Handsome Kageyama with smooth, tanned skin lay there with two stab wounds directly above his heart. Yamaguchi couldn't help but feel as if it would look better if fiery Noya with a blonde streak in his hair was here too but fiery Noya moved away long ago when Yamaguchi's mind had started to leave.

"Bye bye." Yamaguchi giggled before shutting the boot.

Yamaguchi leant against the stolen car and smiled, blowing another bubble. The 'pop' was the only sound that could be heard but not for long. Yamaguchi knew the sirens would be here pretty soon, along with the big men that would take him back to the hospital he had escaped from a few days earlier.

Yamaguchi didn't like the hospital. They locked him in a room and tied his hands together. They fed him pills that made him feel sleepy and slow. They wouldn't let him see Tsukki either and that made Yamaguchi angry. Yamaguchi remembered a time when they didn't tie his hands together, they had told him he couldn't see Tsukki and Yamaguchi nearly strangled the nurse to death. Yamaguchi didn't think he deserved to have his hands tied together, it was the nurses fault anyway. It was the nurse who told him he couldn't see Tsukki when the nurse should've know that no one kept him away from Tsukki. 

Tsukki kept him safe. Tsukki was where his mind was.

Yamaguchi knew that they would also be looking for the money that he stole from his mama and daddy. His mama was already dead when he returned to the empty walls of his old house, she was laying on the sofa with a needle stuck in her arm. He stabbed his daddy to death when he came home. Yamaguchi didn't feel any guilt as he kept plunging the knife in and out of his daddy because it was his daddy's fault that his mind left his head. His daddy beat him and locked him outside during storms.

Yamaguchi counted on his fingers how many people were dead now. The old church lady, pretty Hinata, beautiful Yachi and handsome Kageyama. Oh, and he couldn't forget lovely, pretty, handsome Tsukki. Yamaguchi brought his pale hand to his lips and began to bite his nails. He was too young to go to jail but still, Yamaguchi giggled at the thought of him in jail. He imagined his beautiful face and slender figure among the big and burly men. Yamaguchi wondered what the men would do to him, would they leave him alone or would they use him like his daddy used him?

Where was Yamaguchi's mind? It could be anywhere for all he knew. Yamaguchi giggled at the mental image of his mind growing legs and running away. Yamaguchi skipped through the abandoned house out into the garden. The garden was beautiful, Yamaguchi thought, the overgrown grass and plants held a sort of hidden beauty behind them. Yamaguchi thought the garden was even more beautiful now that his lovely, pretty Tsukki lay next to a hole that Yamaguchi dug.

Yamaguchi crouched down and ran his fingers through the grass. It tickled his fingers slightly, Yamaguchi smiled at the sensation. He picked a daisy from the ground and slid it behind his right ear. Yamaguchi always put a flower behind his ears, Tsukki said it made him look cute. Yamaguchi closed his eyes as he let the words of Tsukki's compliments wash over him. Tsukki was always so lovely to him.

Yamaguchi stood up and walked over to the hole where lovely Tsukki lay. Yamaguchi reached down and straightened the glasses on his face before wiping a droplet of blood from Tsukki's smooth cheeks. Yamaguchi looked down and admired his work, nineteen stab wounds if he could remember correctly. Yamaguchi tilted his head, there seemed to be more than nineteen now. Too much blood stained Yamaguchi's light blue top. 

Yamaguchi ran his fingers over the punctures in Tsukki's skin, remembering earlier today.

_Yamaguchi lay under the peach tree in Tsukki's garden. The sweet aroma of peaches and flowers and Tsukki filled the air as Yamaguchi looked up at the fluffy, white clouds that shared space with the bright, blue sky._

_One of Yamaguchi's hands was intertwined with Tsukki's and the other was fiddling with a blade of grass. Yamaguchi felt euphoric as he listened to Tsukki's angelic voice point out shapes in the clouds._

_"Look Yams." Tsukki gently shook Yamaguchi’s hand to get his attention. "That one looks like a dino."_

_Yamaguchi giggled as his eyes landed on the cloud Tsukki was pointing to._

_“Dino." Yamaguchi repeated softly._

_Just being in the presence of Tsukki made Yamaguchi feel better, more grounded. Tsukki understood Yamaguchi, understood how to make him feel better._

_Yamaguchi frowned slightly when he realised his throat was dry. His lovely Tsukki seemed to pick up on this._

_"What's wrong?" Tsukki asked softly, running his hand through Yamaguchi's hair._

_"I'm thirsty."_

_"There's some fresh lemonade in the kitchen. Do you want me to get you some?"_

_Yamaguchi shook his head. "I'll get it."_

_He pressed a gentle kiss to Tsukki's cheek before jumping up and skipping happily to the house. Yamaguchi ran his hands along the walls as he made his way to the kitchen, looking at the many pictures of Tsukki and his mama and papa._

_Yamaguchi didn't know exactly what happened to Tsukki's mama and papa, he only knew that they made Yamaguchi's daddy very angry and they had to go away for a long time. That's what Tsukki had told him._

_Yamaguchi stepped into the kitchen and got out a glass. He looked through the glass, giggling when everything seemed distorted. He spun around in a circle, laughing at the world through the glass._

_Yamaguchi stopped spinning when a silver glint caught his eye through the glass. He lowered the glass and tilted his head, trying to figure out what had caused it. Yamaguchi giggled to himself when he realised he was acting a little like a magpie, being drawn to shiny things._

_Yamaguchi's eyes widened when he saw just what it was that had caused his distraction. A knife. Yamaguchi slowly walked over to the knife and picked it up, watching himself in the sliver blade. He smiled at his reflection, he thought that he looked pretty. His green hair was slightly wavy and flopped over his face, covering his eyes but not hiding the deep brown pools that Tsukki said looked like coffee._

_Yamaguchi ran his finger along the blade of the knife, watching as it split his skin open. Yamaguchi giggled to himself when he'd realised what he's done and stuck his finger in his mouth, trying to stop the bleeding. Yamaguchi let his mind wander, a dangerous thing at times. A dangerous thing today._

_Yamaguchi imagined what his lovely, pretty Tsukki would look like with the knife in his chest or with a big red smile across his throat. Yamaguchi felt himself start to slip and the smile on his face only grew wider the longer he stared at the knife. Yamaguchi slipped the knife into the pocket of his blue flares, next to his own knife._

_Yamaguchi skipped happily out of the house and through the grass over to where his pretty Tsukki lay. As Tsukki and his blonde curls came into view, Yamaguchi's imagination only became wilder. He could even hear it now, Tsukki's voice begging, pleading and screaming._

_Yamaguchi sat down on Tsukki's waist and took the peach out of Tsukki's hand. He took a small bit and let the sweet flavours take over the metallic taste in his mouth._

_Pretty, lovely Tsukki picked up Yamaguchi's hand and looked at the slit that marred Yamaguchi's smooth, pale skin._

_"What happened?" Tsukki asked, softly and pressed a gentle kiss to Yamaguchi's finger._

_Yamaguchi shrugged and took another small bite out of the peach, giggling slightly at the sensation of the fuzziness against his lips. Yamaguchi places the peach on the ground, next to a clump of daisy's and admired the aesthetic scene he had just created._

_Yamaguchi smiled before leaning down and kissing Tsukki. As Yamaguchi opened his mouth to let Tsukki push his tongue inside, he moved his hips harshly against Tsukki's, causing a deep sound to escape Tsukki's mouth._

_Yamaguchi smiled into the kiss, proud that he managed to make that sound escape Tsukki's lips. He did it again, eager to hear more sounds, fuelling his desire to see a deep scarlet spread across pretty Tsukki's toned chest._

_Yamaguchi took one of his hands off of Tsukki's shoulders and fumbled around in the pocket of his cornflower jeans, his heartbeat rushing when his fingers entwined around the handle. Yamaguchi opened his mouth again, deepening the kiss, allowing Tsukki to get lost in Yamaguchi's gloss covered lips._

_Yamaguchi giggled as he pulled out the knife and plunged it into his lovely Tsukki's toned chest. He kept kissing Tsukki as he plunged the knife in over and over again. The strained sounds Tsukki was making against his lips were quite pretty, Yamaguchi thought. He giggled again when he felt Tsukki's body go limp and no more pretty sounds were escaping Tsukki's lips._

_Yamaguchi sat up after pressing a small kiss to Tsukki's nose. He looked down at Tsukki, enjoying the sight of red taking over Tsukki's light blue top. Yamaguchi picked up Tsukki's white sweater the was in a pile next to the two and slipped it over his head before climbing off of Tsukki's hips and skipping over to the house to find a shovel so he could bury his pretty, lovely Tsukki in the ground._

Yamaguchi kept his gaze on Tsukki's body and kept recalling today's event. The longer he looked and the more times he remembered, the more Yamaguchi's unease grew. He wasn't used to feeling like this, usually he felt light and happy. He wasn't used to having this funny feeling in his stomach.

Yamaguchi frowned as he realised the pain was getting worse. He quickly stood up and pushed his Tsukki into the hole he had dug before running to the opposite side of the garden. The tickle of the grass against his feet no longer felt nice and the scent of peaches no longer smelt so sweet. Yamaguchi felt a strange lump rise in his throat as he realised just what he'd done.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Yamaguchi whispered over and over.

He brought his head to his hands and tugged on his pretty green waves while he shook his head. Yamaguchi didn't like this feeling. He didn't like the feeling of tears rolling down his cheeks. He didn't like the feeling of having a weight on his chest. He didn't like the feeling of his stomach cramping up.

Yamaguchi's mind flicked to the rope in the stolen car. He imagined how he could wear it like a necklace. Yamaguchi ran his slit finger across his neck but quickly jerking it down when the piercing sound of sirens overtook his senses. He didn't expect them to find him this soon. 

Yamaguchi quickly stood up and checked that the lovely knife that his daddy gave him and the small gun that he found in the stolen car before he climbed the fence into the open field behind Tsukki's house. As Yamaguchi ran through the long grass and sweet flowers, the tears stopped flowing and the weight from his chest disappeared.

But the twisting of his stomach still remained and Yamaguchi had a feeling that it would be there for a long time.


End file.
